Welcome To Facebook
by DMG5440
Summary: The Slayers characters end up on Facebook. Amelia, at first wasn't into it, but decided to see what all the hype is. Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or Facebook.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **Something a little different than what I'm used to... I decided to create a random fanfiction where characters from Slayers end up on Facebook. I'm not a fan of Timeline... so... nothing Timeline related (at least not yet... I might change that in the future... if I make more chapters that is...)

Also, italics can mean a few things, but mostly, it's either something written on FB or a thought process. If it's a thought process, I'll specify it. If the italics are by itself, then just assume it's FB speaking.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Slayers_ series, nor do I own _Facebook_. Though, I really wish that I owned FB right now... I could use the money to pay off student loans...

~...~

**Welcome To Facebook**

**Chapter One.**

~...~

Amelia decided to hook up her camera to her new computer. She still found it fascinating how much technology has changed since she was small. Once the camera was hooked up, she transferred photos.

Smiling, she opened up her browser and typed in: .com She wasn't a big fan of this site when Lina told her about it, but after watching Lina's page... and Gourry's page... and especially Zelgaddis' page, she figured that she would get more into it... just to see what the craze was all about.

Once she got onto Facebook, she noticed that she had 5 friend requests. She clicked to see who was requesting to be her friend.

_Filia Ul Copt wants to be friends._

Amelia smiled, "Of course I'll accept your request Ms. Filia!" She went to Filia's facebook page and accepted the request. She then begin to browse around the page.

_Filia Ul Copt: I don't understand why baby Val wants to destroy everything. Three pieces of furniture are destroyed... _

Amelia clenched her fist and then wrote a response, _That's horrible Ms. Filia! Maybe you should send Val to a manners school!_

Once posted, Amelia noticed a huge line of responses to that before hers. Yet, she also noticed something else: _Xellos Metallium Likes This._

Amelia sighed, "How could Mr. Xellos like that Val is destroying Filia's furniture?" She then decided to read the comments, just because she could.

_Xellos Metallium: Good job Val! _

_Filia Ul Copt: XELLOS! DON'T GOOD JOB HIM! IT'S HORRIBLE!_

_Xellos Metallium: Maybe if there was good parenting, then this wouldn't have happened in the first place._

_Filia Ul Copt: I am a WONDERFUL parent! He's just a little difficult. There's no way that you could do any better!_

_Xellos Metallium: Is that a challenge Filia?_

_Filia Ul Copt: YES! You could NEVER take proper care of an ancient dragon baby even if your life depended on it!_

_Xellos Metallium: I'll take you up on that bet. I'll be over to pick up Val in..._

_Filia Ul Copt: XELLOS DON'T EVEN- AGH! WHY ARE YOU HERE?_

_Xellos Metallium: Well, well Filia. You did bet me._

_Filia Ul Copt: Why are you typing this when you're right here?_

_Xellos Metallium: Because it's fun and entertaining! I want to make sure that our readers enjoy this! Besides... you're typing while you are talking too._

_Filia Ul Copt: ... Namagomi.. just LEAVE!_

_Xellos Metallium: Oh no... I am most definitely taking over babysitting this time around. One week Filia. Go enjoy yourself on a vacation or something. I have that dumb fox guy around to report to you if anything goes crazy._

_Jillas: WHO 'RE YA CALLIN' A DUMB FOX GUY?_

_Xellos Metallium: In any case, have a nice vacation Filia._

_Filia Ul Copt: Do you really expect me to have a nice vacation when I know that you're in my house?_

_Xellos Metallium: Oh, don't worry Filia. I have no plans on looking through your underwear drawers..._

_Filia Ul Copt: YOU ARE SO GROSS!_

Amelia shook her head, "There's no point in reading any more of this... there's way too many comments. Now... who else wants to be my friend?"

_Martina wants to be friends._

Amelia smiled as she clicked Martina's page, "It's been awhile... I do wonder what Ms. Martina is up to."

_Married to Zangulus._

Amelia's eyes bulged as she looked at the photos on Martina's page. There were several photos of her scantaly clad with a Zomulgustar emblem. The majority of her friends were males.

_Martina: The end might be nearing! Protect yourself by following the Great Lord Zomulgustar!_

Amelia sighed, "Ms. Martina hasn't changed at all. Now... to the next request."

_Phillionel wants to be your friend._

"YES! DADDY HAS JOINED ME ON FACEBOOK TO SPREAD JUSTICE!"

_Phillionel has joined Facebook._

Amelia sighed, "Daddy obviously hasn't figured out how to use Facebook yet... I'll teach him later on... Now, who's next?"

_Pokota wants to be friends._

Amelia clicked Pokota's page and accepted his request. She was surprised to see that his page didn't have like anything written on it; however, it was filled with a bunch of games. Amelia scrolled for about an hour, reading all the game achievements that he has accomplished, "Oh my... Mr. Pokota really has been busy... now... the last request..."

_Xellos Metallium wants to be your friend._

Amelia smiled, "I can definitely get Xellos to change his evil ways and have him follow justice on here! Now... to see what's on his page..."

_Xellos Metallium is now friends with 486 people._

_Xellos Metallium has updated his personal information._

_Xellos Metallium is now single._

_Xellos Metallium has a new profile picture._

_Xellos Metallium likes "Lord Beastmaster Zelas". _

Amelia was amazed by how much was on Xellos' page. She thought that everything about the monster was more-or-less a secret, but on here, there was just so many different things. She couldn't help but be intruiged to read about it.

_Xellos Metallium: Today, after three hours of arguing with a hot-tempered dragon, I have found myself now staying in her house babysitting her baby. Time to show off how good of a daddy I am!_

_245 people like this._

Amelia was amazed. He had posted that comment two minutes ago and already so many people liked it. Also, a bunch of people commented on it too. She just didn't feel the need to read everything under there.

Within a second, Xellos posted a photo of him holding Val. She smiled as she looked at the picture. She clicked it to enlarge it and clicked the like button. Then, without thinking, she commented, _Mr. Xellos! You and Baby Val look so cute! It's like you really are a father!_

It wasn't long before her comment was liked by Xellos himself.

_Xellos Metallium: Why thank you Amelia. I was thinking of making this my new profile picture. Baby Val just adores me. Maybe I should adopt him!_

Amelia was really now getting into this whole facebook thing...

_Amelia: YOU SHOULD! Oh... wait... you can't... but I know a way that you could become his father for certain!_

_Xellos Metallium: Oh really? How?_

_Amelia: All you need to do is marry Ms. Filia!_

_Xellos Metallium: Oh no... as much as Filia would love to marry me, I do belive that it's impossible._

_Amelia: Oh..._

_Gourry Gabriev: Hey Xellos, if I get a single page to have a million likes, then would you marry Filia?_

_Lina Inverse: Oh! Great idea Gourry! I bet that Xellos would turn down this challenge, because he knows that you can get a million likes!_

_Xellos Metallium: Oh Lina, you have no idea... Gourry can't get a million people to like a single page... why... he doesn't even know a million people. So, I will take on this challenge._

_Lina Inverse: Your funeral... I mean, wedding..._

_Gourry Gabriev: I just made the page. It's called "If One Million People Like This, A Monster Will Marry A Golden Dragon." _

_Amelia: Oh Mr. Gourry! That's wonderful! I will most definitely like that page! I would love to see the bonding of two races that hate one another to be together happy!_

_Lina Inverse: ... I liked it too... but not for the same reason as Amelia._

_Filia Ul Copt: Don't I get a say in this at all? And besides... EVERYONE'S LYING TO YOU XELLOS! YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A FATHER IN THIS PHOTO! _

_Xellos Metallium: -_- I can't believe that you two like that page... either way, it's not going to happen._

_Xellos Metallium: Oh and Filia, I do believe that you're outnumbered on this. Go enjoy your vacation and no, you don't get a say in this..._

_Amelia: I'm amazed that you two are friends!_

_Xellos Metallium: It's not so much as friends as it is that I add all my acquaintances..._

_Amelia: Oh..._

Amelia then decided to finally get off of Xellos' page and to go stalk Zelgaddis.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the reviews. :) Here's the next chapter~

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Slayers series, nor do I own Facebook. Though, I really wish that I owned FB right now... I could use the money to pay off student loans...

~...~

**Welcome To Facebook**

**Chapter Two.**

~...~

Amelia's heart thumped as Mr. Zelgaddis' page began to load. For whatever reason, it was taking forever. When the page loaded, she stared at his picture, "Mr. Zelgaddis really needs a new profile picture... a photo that just has text that says _Contact If You Know of a Cure_ is really boring..." Amelia then began to read his latest status post: _It has come to my attention that this ruins in the middle of the desert is a total and complete waste of time. I'm regretting spending several days walking here just to locate a rare photo of an extinct bird._

Amelia thought about what she could say to him... she wanted to make a nice comment to lift up his spirits, though, she didn't want to seem like she was stalking his page. Amelia sat at her computer for about five minutes, when someone responded to his status.

_Lina Inverse: Geez Zel... you're still searching for a clue to a cure? I thought that Rezo said it was impossible... oh well. Did you pick up the rare bird photo?_

Amelia face palmed. Leave it to Ms. Lina to write such a mean comment. Amelia figured that she needed to write something towards Ms. Lina, yet... if she wrote towards Lina, that would mean that Zelgaddis would know that she's reading his posts and not only his posts but the comments under the post. She began to freak out a bit about this.

_Zelgaddis: I had no intention taking such a photo... besides... someone we all know took it before my very eyes._

_Lina: I NEED ANSWERS! WHO TOOK MY PHOTO?_

_Zelgaddis: Who else would take it? That stupid mazoku of course..._

_Lina: XELLOS! I NEED THAT PHOTO... NOW! _

_Zelgaddis: Just what I need... you tagging Xellos in a post on my page... ._

_Lina: Shut it Zel! That photo is probably worth a ton! Xellos has no use for it! _

_Gourry: How about you meet up with this Xellos guy..._

When Amelia read that Gourry was butting into the conversation, she began to get some hope, "That's right! If Mr. Gourry can comment on here, then there's no problem for me to comment!"

_Amelia: Mr. Zelgaddis! Your appearance is perfectly fine! You should quit searching for a cure and stay in Seiryuun! I would like... I mean... my father would like... and ummm... everyone in the castle would love... to see you again... And MS. LINA! YOUR GREEDY TREASURE-HUNTING SELF SHOULDN'T BE SPAMMING MR. ZELGADDIS'S PAGE! _

Amelia smiled as her comment posted.

_Xellos: Oh come on Lina... is this ugly painting really worth anything? _

_Zelgaddis: I would like it if you two talked about this dumb painting elsewhere..._

_Xellos: Nonsense! I was already tagged here to talk about it, so why move the conversation elsewhere?_

Amelia sighed, "I'm... being... ignored..."

_Lina: In any case, it's a rare item, so I need it!_

_Xellos: ... What would you do for this painting?_

_Zelgaddis: If this conversation continues here... I'm blocking both of you..._

_Lina: Xellos... how about you talk to me via private messaging..._

Amelia just stared at the screen. She couldn't believe that everyone ignored her post. She was a bit upset, but mainly... disappointed that Mr. Zelgaddis didn't say anything back. Amelia sighed to herself and went to her own profile. Nothing could destroy her day more than Zelgaddis ignoring her post.

"Maybe I should make a status... Hmmm..."

_Amelia: :'(_

Amelia posted her status, then decided to look at her notifications. Apparently, she had over 100 game requests. She eyed the first request _Farmville_. The request came from Pokota and he even added a small note to the request: _Please be my neighbor! We can fight justice together! _Amelia clenched her fists, "OF COURSE POKOTA! I WILL JOIN YOU IN THIS NOBLE QUEST!"

Before she realized it... Amelia was playing too many games to count and went crazy sending all sorts of requests to all of her friends. Not only that, but she found that making her own castle towns, bringing up her own farm, making her own city... all of it was just plain fun. She was so involved with the games that she didn't realize that people commented on her status.

_Filia: Ms. Amelia... is everything ok?_

_Phil: Daughter! Come down and talk to me about it! Whatever is troubling you must be fixed! _

_Lina: It's not like you to be down Amelia... _

_Gourry: You must be sad because Lina at the last piece of ham... oh wait... you didn't know about that. That's why I'm sad... she tricked me again... anyways, you should eat some ham... that will make you feel better. _

_Zelgaddis: Amelia? _

~...~

After his post being ignored for a few hours, Phil decided that he would have to go find Amelia and ask her if everything was alright. When he opened up the door to her room, he noticed that Amelia seemed to be a completely different person... the room was completely dark and Amelia was cackling... Figuring that an evil being attacked his precious daughter, Phil ran in and shook Amelia, "What's wrong? Is everything alright? Why's it so dark and-" Before Phil could finish Amelia spoke up, "Daddy! Everything's fine! I was just laughing because I completely destroyed the evil doer's ship that tried to invade my base! Daddy! This website is amazing! Certainly you must join me in the quest of justice! These games... they need us to make sure that nothing goes wrong! I sent you requests... you must become my ally..." Phil was stunned, yet, Amelia's speech spoke right to his heart, "Daughter! I will join your side and fight evil!"

Phil then began to become obsessed with the games...

~...~

_Filia: This trip in the mountains is horrible! After getting attacked by monkeys... I ended up falling into a giant pit of mud. I just want to be home and see my beautiful baby boy!_

_-Xellos likes this-_

_Xellos: I'm sad that I missed the sight... Leave it to a golden dragon to not last a whole day out in the mountains... _

_Filia: Xellos! How is Val? What are you doing with him?_

_Xellos: Val is perfectly fine... he's very good at picking up some small tricks. I'm sure that you'll be impressed. _

_Filia: Tricks? What kind of tricks?_

_Xellos: Oh... you'll see when you get back... _

_Jillas: I swear Boss! It's terrible! Somehow I ended up with ink around my eyes! _

_Filia: Ink?_

_Xellos: Oh ignore him Filia... anyways, Val is fine. If you look at my facebook, I have a whole album entitled: My Son and Me! _

_Filia: HE'S NOT YOUR SON!_

_Gourry: Umm... I just thought that I would update you two... the website now has 5344 likes..._

_Filia: PEOPLE ARE LIKING THAT PAGE?_

_Xellos: ... they obviously have no taste..._

_Lina: What's funny is that your Lord Beastmaster liked it too..._

_Xellos: WHAT? _

_Martina: I liked it! And I love all the comments that I've read on it so far! I agree with a bunch of the people there! It would be great if after you two get married you make your house a pirate ship! _

_Filia: What's this about a pirate ship?_

_Martina: Oh ho ho ho! All the craze! People think that it would be awesome if you two lived in a pirate ship! I just became a fan of "If One Million People Like This Page the Dragon and Monster Will Live in a Pirate Ship"_

_Xellos: ... I never agreed to that one..._

_Filia: This is insane! Who created such a page?_

_Lina: So Xellos... are you going to give me that photo or not? ;)_

_Xellos: Absolutely not. Just because you created a stupid pirate house page doesn't mean that you'll get your way! _

_Lina: Have it your way... I've got a lot of followers on this website so... Have fun in the next few hours..._

~...~

Lina smirked and then wrote her newest status. She was going to make sure that no matter what, Xellos would give her that rare item.

_Lina: Please check out my newest album! You'll regret it if you don't!_

Lina smiled as she looked through her new album titled: Xellos Makes An Adorable Girl! Inside the album, Xellos was dressed in various different dresses while wearing make-up. "If this doesn't get him to cough up the rare photo... then I'll just have to go more hardcore!"


End file.
